Kind Words

   Yesterday was a good day. It was a fun day. I took PJ to a library program and met up with a mom from church and her daughter (same age as PJ!). When we arrived PJ took one look at the room full of people and said "home now Mommy". :) Such a social little girl I am raising! After some encouragement and promising that I wasn't going anywhere we were able to join in the circle. PJ joined in as much as she could from my lap. She stared at (observed) the other kids and might have cracked a smile or two. She did enjoy the craft time and liked colouring and placing stickers on a pre-cut teddy bear. Afterwards we played in the children's play area which she enjoyed more - she can play without having to interact with anyone else. I think we'll keep joining in on this program so that she can get more familiar with other children and maybe break out of her shell a little bit.
   After the library program we headed to Target. Did I need anything from Target? No. I just didn't want to head back to my house with laundry piled all over the main floor (at least it was sorted and half folded on my coffee table!), dishes all over my counter, floors needing a good sweep/vacuum (how does dirt grow on my floors?), and PJ's dinner from last night still on the table. Yes, I was avoiding the inevitable. Never mind it was close to lunch time and I should have been heading home to feed PJ. Instead I fed her a cookie from Starbucks to tie her over and walked around Target for an hour. I have to admit I was feeling a little guilty and a little like I wasn't the best Momma out there. As we chatted while we walked the aisles I noticed that PJ's language was getting better and better. As she is able to communicate more with me she is becoming a little more patient and not throwing as many tantrums (note: as many - there are still tantrums!). In the middle of our conversation another customer approached me and asked if she could interrupt us for a second. 
   A million worries flew threw my head...what was she going to complain to me about? Were PJ and I being too loud in the store? Did PJ leave a mess as she was inspecting something in one of the aisles? Did the customer notice that I had placed a toy back in the wrong area when PJ wasn't looking? Did the customer disapprove of how I was walking my cart with PJ perched on the handle? Did she know about the state of my house and think that I should head home and deal with it? Did she wonder why I was walking around Target at 12:30 instead of feeding my babies? You may laugh but more than one of these things has been spoken to me while I have walked through various stores in the past two years since PJ's arrival. These comments do nothing to make me feel more successful or sure of myself as a Momma. I am a people-pleaser and misguided or judgemental comments bother me so much! They sit with me and eat me up. When we were little I doubt that our parents received many comments like these from strangers - we seem to have entered a period of time where people are more than willing to state their opinions or step in even if not asked. I am sure that these comments are meant in a helpful way...but they do more to hurt a struggling Momma than help. 
    (Maybe I am being a little melodramatic and judgmental in my opinion of these comments from strangers. I mean, if I am doing something dangerous (which I would hopefully never knowingly do as I love my kiddos) than yes, I guess I do hope someone would say something. But telling me that my 2 year old is too loud in a grocery store isn't something I can change or something that she should have to change - she is a growing vibrant young lady. She should be allowed to have fun. Have you ever had anyone say something to you that made you feel 2 ft. tall? Do you disagree with my opinion on an overly opinionated society?)
   Anyways I digress, all these thoughts quickly flew through my mind as I steeled myself against some negative statement or other on the way I was Momma-ing my kiddos when the customer smiled and said, "I just wanted to let you know that you are an excellent Mother to your children. You validate your daughter in everything. Good job!". I wanted to hug her. In this world of blogs, instagram, and random comments from strangers telling me that maybe I am not doing a good enough job as a Momma, these words made me stand a little straighter and not dread heading home and continuing my job as stay-at-home Momma to PJ and Big C. So, thank you random lady for your uplifting and encouraging words. They did more for this Momma than you will ever know! 

  Love me my kiddos!!